Day: April 22, 2023

Many sleep-deprived new parents find themselves on the ever-elusive hunt for an uninterrupted night of shuteye. White noise, black out curtains, a room temperature that’s just-so, and a bedtime routine consisting of equal parts bath and story time and probable voodoo magic promise to do the trick.

While many ingredients might aid the journey towards a better night’s sleep, there’s one that can save your baby’s life, too – and that’s the use of a fan.

How Can a Fan Save My Baby’s Life?

While it’s never a fun thing to think about, it’s important to recognize that SIDS is the leading cause of death in infants under one year old in the United States.

Researchers are consistently searching for both the cause of SIDS and recommendations for parents to reduce the risk of sudden infant death syndrome. While no one has been able to confidently point the finger at a single culprit, one factor that has been found to play a role is inadequate ventilation in a baby’s room.

What’s the Risk Associated With a Lack of Air Flow?

A lack of ventilation can allow for a buildup of carbon dioxide. When babies exhale, factors like poor airflow, loose bedding, side or stomach sleeping, or having anything that covers their head can result in higher levels of carbon dioxide getting trapped near their nose and mouth and being breathed back in. A study published in 2009 in The Archives of Pediatric & Adolescent Medicine found that running a fan in the room during a baby’s sleep reduced their risk of SIDS by 72%.

Does the Type of Fan Matter?

In the quest for adequate air circulation in your baby’s nursery, you may wonder if a ceiling fan or portable fan is the best option. While either will do the trick, there are a few things you’ll want to consider when making your choice.

• If you choose to use a portable fan such as a tower fan or table fan, be sure that it has a stable base and is placed in a spot where little fingers won’t be able to reach fan blades or even the unit itself. Likewise, make sure power cords are well out of your baby’s reach. Honeywell makes a nice inexpensive table fan and Dyson makes beautiful fans that don’t use blades. (I have a Dyson review here.)
• Nursery ceiling fans may be more effective in circulating air in larger spaces, particularly during warmer months when overheating is a risk factor. Hunter is a popular ceiling fan brand. A portable fan may be a good option in smaller rooms.

Can the Fan Be Pointed at the Baby?

Regardless of the fan you choose, point it away from your baby’s crib to keep them comfortable and to allow for the air to circulate throughout the room.

Should a Fan Be Used All Year Round?

Whether you use a portable fan or a ceiling fan, either can be used year round. During the winter months, you may choose to lower the fan speed and provide your baby with an extra layer of clothing to keep them warm.

What Else Can I Do to Reduce the Risk of SIDS?

In addition to making sure that your baby has a well-ventilated room, there are a few other important factors to keep in mind to reduce SIDS risk in your newborn.

• Cool Room – While there is no particular temperature that experts have landed on as being “the one”, anything lower than 72 degrees Fahrenheit (22 degrees Celsius) seems to be ideal. A cooler room temperature then adding an extra layer of clothing is what’s recommended by the American Academy of Pediatrics.
• No Extras – Avoid having extra items such as blankets, hats, quilts, pillows or toys in your baby’s crib.
• Firm Mattress – Make sure that your baby has a firm mattress for sleep.
• Back to Sleep – Always put your baby to sleep on their back; never on their side or stomach.
• Use a Pacifier – Even if the pacifier falls out after your baby is asleep.
• Smoke-free Environment – Smoke in your baby’s environment is a significant risk factor for SIDS.

The Verdict on Whether You Should Have a Fan in Your Baby’s Room

Portable fans or ceiling fans can help prevent overheating and increase air circulation to stop carbon dioxide buildup near your little’s mouth and nose – both of which can be risk factors in cases of SIDS.

Fans can be used year-round and provide the added benefit of doubling as a white noise machine, so it’s absolutely worth adding one to your baby’s room.

Our next reco: Checklist: Setting Up a Safe Sleep Space

Deciding to adopt is a momentous decision in someone’s life and the journey to that decision can be filled with a lot of heartbreak, tears, and disappointment. But by the time someone is ready to announce that they’re adopting a lot of the grief has dissipated and is instead replaced by excitement with a twinge of fear.

Or at least, that is how we felt. Like many other couples, the events leading up to our decision to adopt were filled with infertility specialists, medicine, and procedures. After nearly two years (4 years if you count the 2 years we weren’t allowed to get pregnant because of a brain aneurysm) of being unable to get pregnant, we were ready to move on to a different path. After choosing adoption, we decided this was our best option to being parents again and were very excited to announce it to people.

Imagine our disappointment when we were greeted with anything less than someone matching our excitement. To be fair, most people were thrilled as they had followed along with our infertility journey. But the few people with less than stellar reactions compelled me to highlight adoption more.

Here are things you should never say to someone adopting:

1. Why?

Yes, this was the first thing someone said to me. People adopting, just like people who are pregnant, do not have to explain why. That is personal.

Also, your ‘why’ implies that our decision is not a good one.

If the person adopting chooses to share what led them to their decision, that’s great, but it’s not something for you to pry out of them. And it especially shouldn’t be anyone’s first sentiment out of their mouth!

2. Did you try IVF (or insert any fertility treatment here)?

Again, this is a personal question. For starters, some people might have been down a long road of fertility treatments and are exhausted from trying them and ready to move on. For others, they might want to forego intense fertility treatments.

There is no right or wrong choice here and neither option is second best.

When someone asks me if I tried IVF after they know that we have decided to adopt, they are implying, to me, that our decision to adopt is not good enough and that I should exhaust all fertility treatments.

3. You’re Giving Up?

Yikes, this really came out of someone’s mouth. I was stunned. Elated, I had just shared with this person the exciting news, and their first thought was that we were giving up. Giving up on what?

Because as far as I’m concerned, adoption will lead us to a beautiful child that is OURS. And that doesn’t feel like giving up to me.

4. You’ll probably get pregnant now that you’re trying to adopt.

This is surprisingly a very common point of view that people like to express to parents deciding to adopt. I’m sure the intentions behind it are pure, but it doesn’t make us feel good.

For starters, there is no scientific data to back up this claim. Sure, a small percentage of people do, in fact, become pregnant, but that has nothing to do with the decision to adopt. Adoption doesn’t suddenly take away the medical reason for infertility some struggled with.

Also, we are not adopting with any hopes or desires to get pregnant. My infertility struggle was real and raw, but I grieved that and now have renewed hope with adoption.

As another parent points out, “Implying that a pregnancy will happen after adoption also implies that adoption is not ‘good enough’ — that biological children through pregnancy is the ‘preferred’ way of building a family.”

5. I’m So Sorry

When someone announces that they are adopting to you, there should be no pity or sorrow on your face. Adoption is not a second rate thing. Albeit challenging, adoption is a beautiful process for families looking to become parents or grow their families.

6. You’re So Lucky You Were Able to Have Your First Child

For us, we were able to conceive a first child and successfully give birth to a beautiful boy. Anyone who says that is right. We are so lucky and blessed to have our first child.

However, there is something unwritten in this sentiment. Will we not be lucky to have our second child? Because, the way we see it, we are so blessed that God is leading down this path.

What Should You Say Instead?

Imagine what you would say to a friend or coworker announcing their pregnancy.
Now say that!

• Congratulations! That’s so exciting for you! Have you had any appointments or
  meetings yet?
• Wow! That’s great news. I’m happy for you!
• That’s awesome! How are you doing and feeling?
• That’s exciting! Please keep me updated on how everything is going.
• Yay! I’ll be praying/thinking of you guys. Let me know if there is anything I can do for you.
• You’re glowing! How do you feel about all of this?
• I love this for you! If you ever need to talk if things get hard, I’m here for you.
• OMG! I’m so happy to hear this. How can I support you?
• I’m thrilled for you. What are the next steps?
• You’re going to be such a good parent! I’m excited to hear more about your
  adoption journey.

Adoption is a different route than pregnancy, but each will lead you to the same result – a child you’ll love very much.

Have you, for better or worse, experienced something similar when announcing your plans to adopt?

Let us know how it went for you in the comments below.

Our next reco: What You Need to Know About My Almost Twins

It’s hard to think of more loathed advice than ‘sleep when the baby sleeps’, but it touches on something many of us in the first few months of parenting wonder: how in the eff do you survive with no sleep?

Of course, you really can’t survive without sleep, but the few measly hours at night you manage to piece together aren’t even close to enough for most people to feel like they aren’t actively in the process of dying.

While there is no magic pill to fix your sleep woes, there are a few things you can do to help take the edge off while you get through this incredibly challenging time in your life. Just a heads up, much of this heavily skews towards families with two parents but can be modified if you have friends or family members who can be relied on for some overnight help.

Here are 16 ways to cope when you’re getting crappy sleep:

1. Sleep in shifts

When we asked our FB followers how they managed to deal with extreme sleep deprivation in the beginning, this was hands down the most recommended. Basically, one person takes a string of night hours, and the other person picks up a string of morning hours, meaning each partner gets a few consecutive hours of sleep, which is really important.

2. Cut corners

Take the easy road wherever you can. Invest in a robot vacuum. Use those bleach tabs in the toilets so you don’t have to scrub them for a few weeks. Put your bills on autopay. Eat out more than normal. Get your groceries delivered, even if that means your bananas are a little sad and the salad expires tomorrow. Have a real think about what needs 100% effort and what can skate by with less of your attention for a bit and still be okay in the end.

3. Do not start a giant project

This is not the time to repaint your cabinets or turn the closet under the stairs into a magical play space for your toddler. When you’re not getting enough sleep, any spare time you have is time to rest. Even if that rest looks like sitting on the couch and binging Bluey next to your toddler, it’s better than nothing.

4. Slow down

Chaining together even a few nights of crappy sleep is enough to slow your brain function and prime you to make mistakes. These might be silly, like leaving your keys in the fridge, or horrifying, like leaving your kid in the car (one big way to prevent it is to recognize it can happen to anyone and take precautions). Purposely slowing down a little and really thinking through each action you take when you’re sleep deprived can help minimize these mistakes – both big and small.

5. Ask for and/or accept help

For many people, this might be the hardest one on here. Asking for help sucks, but sleep deprivation and the smattering of ill-health effects it can have on you (like PPA, PPD, poor or risky decision making, nausea, high blood pressure and more) is worse. Friends, neighbors, family members, hired help – whoever you feel comfortable with lending a helping hand, ask and/or say yes when they offer.

6. Keep your tank full

Staying hydrated by drinking plenty of water is going to help you with all the things, and snacking on foods that are high in fiber and protein can help you set yourself up for better sleep once you finally get to dive into the good stuff (here’s an interesting read about why). Oh, and go easy on the caffeine. You don’t have to quit it cold turkey or anything, but be mindful that it can mess with your sleep cycle if you have too much of it, or have it too late in the day.

7. Take a load off

Sit or lay down whenever you can. Try to take any degree of effort out of whatever task you have to do, whether that means sitting down to fold laundry or laying down to feed the baby. Got a toddler? Here are a handful of games you can play without moving a muscle.

8. Set a sleep quota and stick to it

This one’s from a doula on Reddit. Their recommendation is to set a sleep quota (say 8 hours) and do not get up for the day until you’ve pieced it together – even if that means you’re in bed until noon the next day. (Realistically, this would only work if this is your first kid and you don’t have other obligations.) This could be helpful for people who feel a lot of pressure to get up and start the day even though the things they’re feeling pressured to do, like load the dishwasher or run some laundry, can wait.

9. Get creative with overnight feeds

This might mean using a bottle with either expressed milk or formula so your partner can do an overnight feed or two. Or maybe it means sleeping in a separate space and having your partner take care of all the pre and post-feed needs, so you can go right back to sleep as soon as you’re done feeding. Don’t be afraid to experiment with different options until you find one that works. Considering co-sleeping? Here’s a guide on how to do it as safely as possible.

10. Go to bed when they go to bed

Yes, even if it’s at 7:30. The key right now is banking sleep hours, whenever they might be. Remember this is just a stage, so if for the next few months you hit the hay before it’s fully dark out, just know you’ll be back to a much more normal bedtime eventually, and that getting sleep – no matter what time of day or night – is key.

11. Figure out when you get your best sleep and call dibs

Maybe you naturally fall into a deep sleep from 5-7 am, or maybe your best sleep is sometime in the night. Whatever it is, make sure that your partner takes that shift so you can hopefully score those prime hours.

12. Protect whatever sleep you might get

This might mean separate rooms from your partner, keeping a loving pet out of the bedroom for now, or getting serious about a toddler who prefers to sleep with their toes in your armpit, but don’t let anything other than the baby be the reason you wake up.

13. Chew gum

Is there science behind this? Who knows but it came recommended by a nurse and is super easy to try, so why not?

14. Get outside

This is probably a little bit Old Wive’s Tale and a little bit science, but it’s also easy enough to try. Daylight is important for setting your circadian rhythm, so it makes sense that getting outside and telling your body, “Hey! It’s daytime. Let’s do this!” might help a little.

15. Practice acceptance

You are not doing anything wrong. Your baby isn’t doing anything wrong. Disjointed sleep patterns are normal when it comes to newborn sleep (we have a great piece on why that is that here). While you may be able to make some adjustments to your own behaviors, infants, like cookies, need a minute when they’re fresh out of the oven before you start fiddling with them. Understanding and accepting that this is a stage you’ll get through can help take the pressure off you feeling like you should be doing something different.

16. Let go of any guilt you might feel about making tough decisions

There are about 9 million different things that could leave you feeling guilty when you put your foot down and prioritize sleep, but do your best to let them go. The most important thing right now is letting your body heal so you can get back to you, and continue to support your baby. Sleep is an absolute must, so prioritizing it is super important – regardless of how sad your toddler or cat or partner might be about a change in routine.

No matter what, this sucky sleep situation will pass.

Hearing these words when you’re in the thick of it can be pretty infuriating – or at least that’s how I felt when I was in the weeds with my kids, but it’s true. Eventually, you will sleep again. Until then, go easy on yourself and do whatever you need to do to get through these long days.

Got a hot tip that didn’t make the list?

Drop it in the comments below!

Our next reco: When Your Baby Hates Sleep

Introducing toddlers to a musical instrument can be as simple as giving them a set of pots and pans and a wooden spoon, but if you think your toddler is ready to level up to their first real instrument like a drum set or guitar, the best musical instruments for toddlers can help them develop not only their musical skills but their fine motor and social-emotional skills as well. Sure, it might take a minute for them to reach this little musical prodigy’s level, but you’ll be surprised at how quickly toddlers can actually learn an instrument when it’s introduced as a fun and engaging activity.

Can A 2-Year-Old Learn An Instrument?

According to the Suzuki Method, children as young as 3 or 4 can begin formal training to learn an instrument. But that’s not to say that babies and toddlers can’t have fun exploring the sensory experiences of different musical instruments before that age. In fact, manipulating hand-held instruments (think: shakers, bells, drums) and participating in tunes through song and dance can help little ones with coordination and concentration. It’s never too early to bring music into your home or to take your kiddo to a music class.

What Musical Instrument Should A Child Start With?

Because children have shorter limbs and fingers, instruments that come in scaled-down sizes are best for a young child to start with. These typically include pianos, guitars or ukuleles, recorders, and violins. Instruments that don’t come in smaller sizes or that require an increased lung capacity, like the trombone, are better suited for older children and young adults.

Yet, your child’s natural talents and interests may be the biggest factor in their success in learning to play an instrument. So instead of choosing an instrument that you want them to learn, pay attention to what they show interest in or what music style they gravitate towards. If toddlers feel a sense of joy and are praised and encouraged positively when learning an instrument, versus pressured, the more likely they are to be engaged throughout the process.

What Instrument Is Best For Brain Development?

As mentioned above, simply exposing your child to music is going to be great for their overall brain development. But to add further nuance, a study published in the Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry found that the violin and piano may actually aid cortical thickening, which plays a role in emotional processing and behavior regulating. Both the piano and violin also have the added benefit of teaching a child tone and pitch, setting them up for success in other instruments later on.

Ready to find your toddler’s first instrument? Check out the list below of the 17 best musical instruments for toddlers. All come highly rated on Amazon and some even have thousands of perfect, five-star reviews.

In a hurry? Here are the top picks for the best musical instruments for toddlers:

1. The Best Wooden Instrument Set: Stoie’s International Wooden Music Set
2. The Best Toddler Acoustic Guitar: Loog Mini Acoustic Guitar
3. The Best Toddler Piano: Melissa & Doug Learn-To-Play Piano
4. The Best Toddler Drum Set: oathx All-in-One Kids’ Drum Set
5. The Best Toddler Ukulele: YOLOPARK Toddler Ukulele Guitar
6. The Best Egg Shakers: SallyFashion Wooden Egg Shakers

01

This Ukulele That Your Toddler Will Become Instantly Obsessed With

It doesn’t get much cuter than a toddler plucking away on a ukulele, and this cute beginner’s ukulele comes in four colors so you’re sure to find one that your little one loves. It comes with a finger-friendly nylon strings and weighs less than a pound, so it’s easy for tots to carry around the house. The durable construction also promises to stand up to years of use. Good thing because this is one instrument your kiddo will reach for for years to come.

Helpful Review: “My son(3yo) is entranced by it! He loves hearing it make sounds and stuff and will sit around for hours just strumming it and giggling his little heart out. We’ve had it for a few weeks now and the love has not died out at all! I’m trying to learn a couple of the songs that came in the booklet to play for it, and it’s obviously not in tune, but that doesn’t really matter since he’s a rough and tumble toddler, so I’d rather it be durable!”

Recommended Age: 1+ | Number of Pieces: 3 (ukulele, strap, 1-tone dial)

02

This Fan-Favorite Wooden Music Set

More than 4,400 Amazon shoppers have awarded this cute wooden music set a perfect five-star rating, and it’s easy to see why. It includes every percussive instrument your little one needs to make new sounds and songs: a tambourine, a castanet, a hand drum, two hand bells, a flute, a maraca, a chime bar, and two different wooden sound bars with sticks. The solid wood construction means this set will hold up for years, and all of the pieces pack away easily in the included cotton drawstring pouch. As one shopper noted “Instant Family Band.”

Helpful Review: “We bought this for my 3-year-old and she loves it! The toys are greatquality and perfect for her hands. We even let her baby brother try the shaker. While the instruments are more sized for kid hands, they’re also very useable for adults. My husband and I readily join the family band under our 3-year-old’s direction :). I love the variety of instruments and that they are made of wood rather than plastic. This set is my new standard for the price point.”

Recommended Age: 3+ | Number of Pieces: 10

03

This 3-String Acoustic Guitar For Toddlers

This children’s beginner guitar might look like the type of electric guitar that a rock star would play but it’s actually an acoustic guitar, meaning you won’t need to plug it into any special equipment. The Loog guitar is made of real wood and features a smaller scale and just three strings that make it easier for toddlers to hold and learn to play. With the free Loog Guitar app, your child can access lessons, too. The guitar is available in six playful colors, like cherry red, bubble gum pink, and yellow.

Helpful Review: “Was looking for a toddler instrument for the longest while and they all sounded soooo bad – until I saw Loog. Sounds almost like an adult beginner guitar, super nice workmanship. Won’t teach your toddler to play by itself but the toddler will enjoy every minute and your ears won’t suffer for it. A win!”

Recommended Age: 3+ | Number of Pieces: 1

04

This Heirloom-Quality Toddler Drum Set

If your little one loves to keep the beat, you need to get them this sturdy, six-in-one wooden drum kit. In addition to the two classic drums with sticks, there’s also a cymbal and a multi-textured wood tone block, all set on top of a kitten-shaped stand with four stabilizing legs. There’s even a dedicated place on the stand to house the wooden drum sticks so they don’t go missing when not in use. The thoughtful design is definitely heirloom-quality, and as one reviewer noted, “It is the kind of toy that will last to be handed down another generation.”

Helpful Review: “Bought this for my toddlers birthday! It was such a hit that even older (even teens) loved it too! Wellmade & brilliant idea! Best gift- go get one!!!”

Recommended Age: 3+ | Number of Pieces: 6-in-1 set

05

This Toddler Piano With Color-Coded Keys

Melissa & Doug’s Learn-to-Play piano features 25 color-coded keys designed for tiny hands. Toddlers can learn the basics of piano theory by following the corresponding color-coded and illustrated songbook. It’s made of solid wood and high-quality materials meant to stand up to regular toddler use. The song book comes with favorites like Row, Row, Row Your Boat and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star for your little maestro to master.

Helpful Review: “This piano is perfect for toddlers. They can sit in front of it and although slightly tinny it sounds pretty good for a toy piano. It comes with a book of songs. Each key on the piano is labeled with a color and the name of the key (G,A, etc) so it is easy to learn to play the songs in the book. A good starter piano for kids to learn on.”

Recommended Age: 3+ | Number of Pieces: 1

06

These Cute Egg Shakers For Little Hands

Maracas are the ultimate introductory percussion instrument for toddlers. They’re easy and comfortable for toddlers to grasp and are basically unbreakable. This set of six egg shakers is made from natural wood and features cheery, kid-friendly designs painted with colorful, nontoxic paint.

Helpful Review: “These things get abused daily by my toddler and they have not broken or anything. They make a very pleasant sound when shaken. Super pretty, too. She plays with them daily and I’m super glad we got them.”

Recommended Age: Baby to 36 months+ | Number of Pieces: 6

07

A Colorful Toddler Xylophone Made Of Durable Beechwood

Toddlers will love hearing the sounds the rainbow-colored metal keys make on this kid’s xylophone. It’s easy to play, made of eco-friendly beechwood and other nontoxic materials, and features two holes on the base for storing the mallets all in one place — it’s the perfect first instrument for toddlers learning coordination and concentration. The included color-coded music cards will have your toddlers playing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star and Mary Had A Little Lamb in no time.

Helpful Review: “Perfect for toddler play, easy to carry around and easy to use. The best thing is it is accurately tuned. Well constructed/designed; colorful, accurate and durable. Highly recommend.”

Recommended Age: 3+ | Number of Pieces: 3 (1 xylophone base, 2 mallets)

08

An Easy-To-Hold Toddler Tambourine

Toddlers will want to jump in the line when they shake this tambourine around and hear the happy sounds coming from the metal jangles. It’s made of smooth birch wood with gently shaped edges, and at just 6 inches in diameter, it’s the ideal size for little hands to grasp.

Helpful Review: “I got this for my daughter, after a music class at the library she loved the tambourine. So I knew I needed to get her one. First, and most importantly, it can take a beating! […] she smashes, tosses, bangs and generally attempts to destroy EVERYTHING. And this tambourine has absorbed it all.”

Recommended Age: 3+ | Number of Pieces: 1

09

These Kid’s Bongo Drums With Beautiful Illustrations

Nothing more than a cute pair of toddler hands is needed to get started playing this bongo drum for kids. The rubber base provides stability while the durable Acousticon shells and suede drum heads make low- and high-pitched tones that will teach kids about musical rhythm. As one reviewer noted, they make a “nice, clear, resounding (and loud!) sound. not unpleasant or tinny or dull.” Beautiful illustrations of children around the world add to the quality craftsmanship of this set.

Helpful Review: “This is the perfect first drum for a toddler. It is just the right height to place on the floor for a child to play. It sounds good if played with hands which makes it safer. Sticks can be used when the child is older and more coordinated. I have given this drum as a gift twice with great success each time. The bright colors also make it appealing. It sounds very good. Highly recommended!”

Recommended Age: 3+ | Number of Pieces: 2 connected drums

10

This 2-Pack Of Wooden Recorders For Beginners

Offered in a colorful pack of two, these recorders are just the right size for toddlers since they feature a short body and only six holes. Young children can build up their lung stamina while they practice making different sounds and learn the concepts of a wind instrument with these recorders. The cheery paints are eco-friendly and non-toxic, too.

Helpful Review: “My toddler loves these flutes! Easy to use and love that different tones can be made by covering the holes.”

Recommended Age: 12+ Months | Number of Pieces: 2

11

This Real Violin That’s Meant For Little Kids

While most violins for toddlers are not real but rather toys, this Bunnel violin is the real deal. Various sizes are offered in the listing that are intended for young children ages 3 to 5. It’s made with solid maple and spruce tonewood with a beautiful satin oil finish and comes with a bow, carrying case, and lifetime warranty.

Helpful Review: “We purchased a 1/16 violin for our daughter. Just getting it out of the box! So far everything seems great. For the price we are impressed by the quality and customer service.”

Recommended Age: 3+ | Number of Pieces: Multiple (violin, bow, and accessories)

12

This Beginner Blues Harmonica For Taking Anywhere

The harmonica takes some serious practice to get the hang of, making this beginner’s version with just 10 holes (versus 24 like some professional harmonicas) a great introduction for little kids. The plastic comb features smooth edges and is coated in a bright paint that is both water-based and nontoxic. Measuring just 5.8 inches, it’s the perfect size for taking on the go so your little musician can practice whenever, wherever.

Helpful Review: “Very cute harmonica, great product for children and beginners, smooth playing and good grip. The soothing sound and wide spacing between the holes make it easier to play one note at a time. The cute panda makes my kid keep playing it. It comes with an instruction booklet. Well worth buying.”

Recommended Age: N/A | Number of Pieces: 1

13

A Portable Electric Drum Set With A Headphone Jack

The best thing about this electric drum set is that it has a headphone output so your toddler can play until their heart’s content and you won’t hear a thing. The fact that it’s made of a soft silicone material and is foldable (aka portable) is just another reason to love this set. As your tot gets the hang of it, they can incorporate the included foot pedals and practice their hand and foot coordination/independence. It comes with a rechargeable battery that can last up to 8 hours before needing a power up.

Helpful Review: “My grandson ‘drums’ on everything and something had to give before something broke, so I grabbed this. It’s a huge hit. It has rhythms he can play along with. He can speed it up or slow it down. It works with the included drum sticks or his hands. He can record and play back his creations. And his mom likes that it can connect to headphones to mute his efforts when she’s reading or watching TV.It’s highly giftable and perfect for beginning drummers and experienced drummers alike. Just roll it up and take it along anywhere. […].”

Recommended Age: 3+ | Number of Pieces: 7 (drum set, 2 foot pedals, 2 drum sticks, USB power cable, cleaning cloth)

14

This Adorable Tiny Accordion For Toddlers

This tiny accordion (aka squeeze box) is adorable. Better yet, it’s great for toddlers since it’s lightweight (1.5 pounds) and kid-sized so little fingers can reach the buttons, making it easier for them to change melodies. Choose from three bright colors all made with nontoxic materials.

Helpful Review: “I [love] the accordion. My son is 3 years old and this accordion is easy to handle and not to heavy for him.”

Recommended Age: 3+ | Number of Pieces: 1

15

This Best-Selling Synthesizer From Japan

The Otamatone is a Japanese musical instrument invented that works by sliding your finger up and down and squeezing its cheeks to produce different sounds. It leans more musical toy but it is still a fun teaching tool for young kids who are interested in synthesizer instruments. And it’s super cute, too.

Helpful Review: “Great item. Was high on my daughters christmas list this yr. She loves it. Learned to play songs on it right away. Fun toy for anyone. EXCELLENT Quality item. Came across this multicolor unicorn version and was a big hit with my child.”

Recommended Age: 6+ Months | Number of Pieces: 1

16

This Keytar For Tots

If your child has expressed interest in playing the guitar and the piano, a keytar is sort of like having both in one. Keytars are keyboards that you hold like a guitar, supported with a strap around the neck and shoulder. This lightweight keytar is powered by a rechargeable battery so kids can tote it around everywhere they go, and they’re sure to love the included microphone that will let them feel like a rock star.

Helpful Review: “This is a nice little keyboard that a child can actually play music on. It is easy to hold and easy to play.”

Recommended Age: N/A | Number of Pieces: 6 (keytar, microphone, belt, USB power cable, audio cable, and a UL adapter)

17

This Heart-Shaped Thumb Piano

Never heard of a kalimba? That’s just another name for a thumb piano. This cute heart-shaped kalimba allows young children to practice piano concepts using just their thumbs to make different sounds with the 17 keys. Stickers are included for color-coding the keys so kids can learn faster. And the plastic is super durable and scratch resistant.

Helpful Review: “I bought this for my granddaughter. I have tried it out and the sound is good. Sturdy enough for a young child to explore sounds with.”

Recommended Age: N/A | Number of Pieces: 1

Studies referenced:

Hudziak, J. J., Albaugh, M. D., Ducharme, S., Karama, S., Spottswood, M., Crehan, E., Evans, A. C., & Botteron, K. N. (2014). Cortical thickness maturation and duration of music training: Health-promoting activities shape brain development. Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, 53(11). https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jaac.2014.06.015

Thanks to Target’s car seat trade-in program, parents can get rid of old car seats they can’t use anymore in exchange for a 20% coupon for baby gear.  

Seats, boosters, and bases that have been outgrown, in an accident, or just plain expired all qualify.

As if we needed another reason to love their stores.

The program, which runs from Sunday, April 16th to Saturday, April 29th, is an attempt to reduce waste by turning all of that sticky icky into recycled goods like plastic buckets, grocery carts, and construction materials. So, you not only get to clear your house of baby gear that’s been taking up loads of space, but you also get to feel good about yourself because you’re recycling. High five!

All car seat brands are being accepted at the Target Take Back recycling areas at participating stores. All you have to do is bring in a car seat you don’t need anymore, leave it in the designated recycling area and then get your coupon for 20% off select baby gear.

Here’s how the target car seat trade-in works

STEP 1:
Bring an old car seat or base to a nearby Target and drop it in the designated box inside the store.

STEP 2:
Open your Target App to scan the code on the box. Talk to a Team Member in Guest Services if you need help.

STEP 3:
Open your Wallet in the Target App and view ‘Extra offers’ to find your coupon.

STEP 4:
Click the green checkmark next to the offer and place your order online, or scan your barcode at the register.

Easy Peasy

The coupon is good for any car seat and/or select baby gear you purchase in store or at Target.com. Just be sure to download the Target App so you can get access to the coupon right then and there.

Coupons can be used in-store or online and are valid until May 13th, 2023.

I love this initiative so much because it means Target will join the ranks of other businesses aiming to keep car seat materials out of landfills.

In fact, since the first round of trade-ins in 2016, they have recycled more than 32.9 million pounds of plastic, which is pretty darn wonderful. That’s a heck of a lot of Cheerio dust. Good work, Target!

Related: Finding the Best Infant Car Seat

I timed everything perfectly last night. I got home from Costco just minutes before the Love Is Blind Season 4 Live Reunion was going to start, put away my groceries, and settled down in front of my television with my $1.50 hot dog and Diet Pepsi and not a single care in the world except slight worry that Brett and Tiffany would somehow not still be together. Sunday evening was going to rule.

And then… nothing. A screen that said “It’s almost time, the live event will start soon” morphed into a screen that said there would be a delay. And then that screen stayed on for over an hour. The hot dog got cold and then I ate the cold hot dog. Still nothing. It was worse than being left at the altar, I’m absolutely sure of it.

The only saving grace? The internet. While I couldn’t watch Micah confront Paul or Paul confront Irina or Chelsea confront Micah or Micah confront Kwame, I could get more than a few good laughs on Twitter, where all the other super fans were cracking jokes and making the best out of a bad situation.

Some of the best jokes, of course, were references to the show and Season 4.

“Me because the love is blind live reunion isn’t working,” tweeted one genius, sharing a meme of Brett giving his already-famous lecture about pants tailoring. “This should be a day of no surprises. This should be a day of planning,” it reads.

Another person posted Zack singing his love song in the pods — one of the most cringe moments of the season.

“How long have you been waiting for the reunion to start,” they ask, as Zack croons, “Forever and ever and ever…”

And of course a few people posted the infamous picture of Tiffany snoozing in the pods as Brett spilled his heart out to her.

One single person, a reality television enthusiast in Canada called only “T”, went on a joke-writing marathon that entertained the world for much of the hour.

God bless T.

A few brands even got in on the fun, and a few were quite cheeky.

And a few famous people stopped their busy lives not only to try and watch the reunion, but to makes jokes when it didn’t happen.

Political powerhouse Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez stopped everything to make one of the best jokes of the night: “Someone call Lucia the seamstress to fix this,” she wrote. “I believe in her.”

“Would love to read the oral history of this evening inside Netflix,” wrote Chris Hayes.

And just because they’re fun, here are a few more.

But don’t worry: Netflix is sorry. And they will be re-posting the reunion Monday, April 17, at 12 PM PT, finally. Here’s to hoping no one got divorced in the meantime.

Stay-at-home moms have one of the, if not the, most demanding jobs of all time. They are the village that makes each household run with ease.

So, what happens when a family loses that? One mom on TikTok went viral for her eye-opening perspective on what it takes to replace the unwavering do-it-all nature of a stay-at-home mom.

Allison Roozen — a blogger and content creator who offers parents free resources and tools for play-based preschool activities — shared a very personal story on her TikTok, detailing the new perspective she gained after losing someone very close to her.

“My best friend — my best mom friend — died in 2020,” she began. “We had been pregnant together, had our babies together. She was like, that friend.”

After losing her best mom friend, Roozen began to observe how her late friend’s family coped with the loss and how their household recovered in the wake of her absence. “Something I keep thinking about is now that she’s gone is the amount of people that have been hired to replace her,” she said.

Roozen’s best friend was a stay-at-home mom. Besides the obvious emotional loss, Roozen explains that so many other things needed to be outsourced to hired help because she was no longer around to handle it.

“And now, with her gone, her husband has hired a landscape crew, a house cleaner, two babysitters, and enlists the help of neighbors, grandparents, along with having a girlfriend who does the emotional labor,” she explained.

She says that now that the backbone of the family is gone, an entire village had to be hired to fill her place.

“Before, they had a mom who was doing all of that,” she concluded.

Roozen spoke to Scary Mommy and explained that seeing the entire team brought in to support her friend’s husband after her passing made her see the value in everything she does as a fellow stay-at-home mom.

“The amount of people does not surprise me, but it really validates how smart they were as a couple. She had 2 life insurance policies (which shows how much her husband valued her as the home maker and care taker of their family) and without having those the loss of her would have been even more difficult than it already was,” Roozen tells Scary Mommy.

Hundreds commented on Roozen’s take with several noting how important is it for SAHMs to have large life insurance policies for just this kind of tragic situation. One TikTok user wrote, “Reminder to all moms: you need a very robust life insurance policy.”

Another echoed, “We have a life insurance policy for me as a SAHM because it would cost my husband so much if I died. I’m grateful he values my unpaid labor.”

One user noted, “This is why my husband has life insurance for me. To be able to hire people to do the work if I die. 😳”

To which Roozen replied, “Thankfully she had 2 policies 🙏🏻”

Other moms noted the irony of this SAHM finally getting the help she probably always needed a little too late. “Sad when she probably asked for help multiple times and never got that. Now that’s she’s gone the help comes. 😔” one user noted.

Another TikTok user wrote, “I’m so very sorry for your loss. Moms are expected to juggle everything and never drop a ball. No matter what and it isn’t fair.”

Roozen responded, “Thank you. It’s really not. Fair Play is at the top of my reading list.”

Fair Play — a book by Eve Rodsky — helps couples work through a system that offers couples a fair and understandable way to divvy up chores and responsibilities so that each person is carrying an equal load.

Though the concept of Fair Play is progress, stay-at-home moms are still overworked and underpaid (and by “underpaid,” we mean not paid at all).

“I want to be clear that my friend was actually very well supported – once she had a terminal illness (which was the last 3 years of her life and over half of her motherhood). Prior to her getting sick, she was decently supported, but they lived far from family so only had occasional help and eventually hired a housecleaner,” she tells Scary Mommy.

Salary.com noted that, in a post-pandemic world, SAHMs are doing more work than ever. If they were to be compensated for all they do, the median annual salary for stay-at-home moms in 2021 was $184,820 — rising $6,619 above the pre-pandemic median.

“And if you factor in pay premiums that companies offer like bonuses, overtime, and hazard pay due to the increased intensity of the work this past year, a stay-at-home mom could earn more than $200,000 annually!” the outlet added.

The study gave consideration to the more obvious roles that stay-at-home moms take on — like housekeeper, personal chef, and assistant, but also newer roles — like network administrator and social media communications.

In the end, the mom role includes more than 20 different positions with roles such as public school teacher, interior designer, and logistics analyst being added to the list of jobs.

The survey results show that stay-at-home moms work a whopping 106 hours per week on average, which means they are working 15 hours a day, 7 days a week.

Losing a parent is an unimaginable loss no matter which parent is it. However, the loss of a stay-at-home mom is a void that not even hired help can fix.

Greta Gerwig’s upcoming Barbie movie is one of the most hotly anticipated releases of the summer. But what about the other types of dolls that used to crowd our childhood bedrooms… and that many have passed on to their own daughters? What if they got movies too?

Apparently Saturday Night Live was been wondering the same thing. And this past weekend they released a new movie trailer parody that imagines exactly what it would be like if American Girl Dolls hit the silver screen (the answer: not quite as glamorous).

In a spoof to end all spoofs, the cast wore way too much period clothing to show just what it would be like if the history-rick (and conservatively dressed) toys got their moment, with Chloe Fineman playing Samantha, Heidi Gardner playing Kirsten, Molly Kearney playing Molly, and Sarah Sherman playing Kit. Host Ana de Armas joined the fun playing Josefina.

“Not all dolls live in a dream house,” the narrator begins. “Some are bigger, younger, sadder.”

The trailer skips to the dolls introducing themselves, and sharing their extremely tragic childhoods that many of us remember from reading their companion novels.

“I watched my parents die in a boat,” says Samantha.

“My best friend Marta died of cholera,” says Kirsten.

“I don’t know my birthday because I’m a runaway slave,” Addy shares.

The girls then take part in a fashion show, in which dowdy bonnets and four layers of underthings is the norm, which is just a bit different from Barbie’s hot pink hot pants. And then they have to do chores like churning butter and scrubbing the floors instead of riding around in a Corvette or going on the waterslide.

Just like in the Barbie trailer, the girls leave behind their own world and strike out for the modern one, though it seems like their journey (in a cover wagon) will be fatal for a few of the girls. But, as all five of the girls say throughout the horror-laden trailer, “That’s okay!”

Reviews of the movie are completely honest and hilarious, like, “These little girls are going through too much,” and “I laughed. I cried. I cried. I cried.”

The movie also got a feature and rave review in Girls Who Played Soccer Magazine. Hitting a little too close to home, there, SNL.

Real fans of the dolls will notice tons of thoughtful touches, from the girls’ on-target outfits to the trunks of possessions we glimpse in the background to the portraits of the girls hanging over their beds. It seems like whoever put this spoof together also still has a soft spot for the dolls, even if their storylines were more than a little bleak.

On a recent family vacation to Disney World, I made the apparent mistake of going up for a second plate of food at the breakfast buffet, a move that prompted my dad to ask me if I’d left any food up there for anyone else. I’m 33 — a full-blown adult — and also in recovery from an eating disorder, but his throwaway comment left me reeling, unable to eat much more off my plate.

Like so many others, body-shaming, weight-shaming, food-shaming, and health-shaming are deeply woven into my family’s dynamic, and it’s taken years of therapy to unlearn what I’ve been told is true about bodies, appearance, and people’s inherent worth related to them. I’m also intensely fearful of confrontation, so I didn’t (or couldn’t) react to the comment in real time. Instead, I remained at the table calmly, crumbling later on when I was eating lunch alone with my husband. Even in my favorite place on the planet, one cruel comment from someone who’s supposed to love me unconditionally had me feeling somehow both too big and so small at the same time.

Body shaming can be so covert and so insidious, sometimes it’s tough to even realize it’s happening in the moment. Whether someone’s questioning your clothing choices (or calling you “brave” for wearing something) or offering up unsolicited “health” advice, these comments can hurt even if they’re allegedly coming from a place of concern or a well-meaning person — especially if they’re coming from someone who should love you and have your best interests at heart.

Despite a culture that places tremendous value on thinness (oftentimes at any cost), bodies come in all shapes and sizes, and a person’s worth and value don’t change if they don’t fit into a thin and/or “healthy” ideal. But diet and weight loss culture is so prevalent that people feel entitled and empowered to share their opinions on other people’s bodies, whether it’s a backhanded compliment like “You have such a pretty face for your size” or, in my case, commenting on the amount of food I was eating. These comments are often rooted in projection, reflecting on the person’s own insecurities, and have little to do with you at all, though that’s likely of little comfort when you’re at the receiving end of a hurtful jab.

So, if a family member comes out of nowhere with a comment aimed at your body or weight, how can you respond in a way that lets them know your body is not their business? Jennifer Rollin, M.S.W., L.C.S.W.-C., a therapist and the founder of The Eating Disorder Center in Rockville, MD, offers up some solid options to shut that sh*t down immediately.

• “I’d rather talk about something more interesting than the size of my body.”
• “I’m working to have a positive body image, so comments like this are hurtful and aren’t helpful. I’d rather you refrain from commenting on my body.”
• “Research suggests that body shaming isn’t helpful in any way, so I’d prefer if you no longer commented on my body.”
• “I like to ask that you not make comments about my body, as I find these kinds of comments hurtful and harmful, and they can also negatively impact others who are listening.”

The unfortunate reality is that it can be hard to set boundaries with those closest to us, especially if you’ve experienced a lifetime of living in a certain dynamic with your family members. If you’re like me and don’t have it in you to firmly and nicely tell a relative to f*ck off, Rollin has a few indirect ways you can handle the situation without confronting them directly.

• Ask a support person at the event to come to your defense if someone makes body-shaming comments. This could be a spouse/partner, a friend, or a sibling who understands the dynamic and how it makes you feel.
• Find an excuse to leave the room. The beautiful thing about being an adult is that you can just get up and leave. You don’t have to listen to what this person has to say.
• Change the topic without engaging in any discussion about your body. The more abrupt and swift you are with this, the more likely they are to get what’s going on — no worries if you do clam up, though.
• Give them a blank stare without responding to their body comments. They should hopefully get the hint.
• Say, “Well, I feel great about myself.” Serve up a well-placed smile and a confident reminder that you are beautiful and bad*ss, and that they can take a seat with their baseless nonsense.

No matter how you handle the situation — and yes, you’re well within your rights to flat-out tell the person to f*ck off — Rollin hopes you can offer yourself compassion and grace, allowing yourself to fully feel your feelings. “It’s completely understandable if body comments make you emotional, hurt, and/or upset,” she says. In these cases, she recommends walking away from the situation so you can cool off, texting a supportive friend or loved one to vent, or even writing down how it made you feel, either in a journal or a note on your phone.

Just because someone shares a bloodline with you doesn’t mean they’re entitled to your peace or your time. You deserve to live freely and comfortably in your body, no matter what someone else has to say about it. End of story.