Odds are, if you ask 10 people whether they love babies, nine of them will answer yes. Babies are just so damn cute and squishy and incapable of judging your questionable binge-watching habits (*ahem*), panty lines, or choice in four-letter words. No one seems to love babies more than Love Is Blind co-host Vanessa Lachey, though — at least that seems like the only logical explanation anyone can come up with for asking that awkward and inappropriate question of when two people plan to procreate. After watching the Love Is Blind Season 4 “live” reunion special, many viewers are (rightfully) annoyed and triggered by Lachey’s persistent line of questioning. After all, who says they can or even want to have babies? Why does that need to be next?
The comments in question came during the ill-fated after-the-regular-season bookend to Love Is Blind Season 4, and they weren’t exactly subtle. It all started with a surprise cameo from Season 3 cast member Bartise Bowden and his infant son. “Who is going to be the first to become parents?” Bowden asked in a pre-recorded video clip.
And, OK, sure — Bowden’s baby announcement was big news (read: a shocker) in the LIB universe, and Vanessa, co-host husband Nick Lachey, and the LIB showrunners were likely trying to capitalize on that buzz. Still, they should have stopped there with just a cameo and a silly little rhetorical question from a previous cast member. Unfortunately, that is not what happened.
Instead, Vanessa breezed right into pestering Season 4 castmates about any possible baby news. “Who is going to give me our first Love Is Blind baby?” she asked. As if possibly becoming aware of her slight, she prodded on but only dug a deeper hole. “I don’t want to ask if you’re trying because that’s TMI. Obviously, you’re all…”
On the actual cameo itself, Lachey commented, “OK. Seriously. If that doesn’t make your ovaries burn, I don’t know” — seemingly forgetting that not all parents have ovaries and not all people with ovaries can or want to use them.
Luckily, Season 4 couple Tiffany Pennywell and Brett Brown came prepared. Pennywell quickly told Lachey they were just focusing on enjoying their marriage. “I was just about to make a joke — I was like, ‘Jesus, y’all really put the baby pressure,'” Brown chimed in. “My God.”
While the reunion stars could only be so candid on-camera, Love Is Blind fans were more vocal in their distaste for the line of questioning.
“I don’t appreciate Vanessa Lachey constantly asking about babies — especially publicly on air. You don’t know who’s trying and having trouble conceiving/carrying and who is feeling pressure from their biological clock. Just mind your own uterus,” wrote one viewer.
“I really hate Vanessa for putting this baby pressure on these couples constantly on this reunion. It’s 2023. Stop f*cking asking people when they’re having babies,” tweeted another fan.
“Let these couples enjoy life [without] kids. Who’s to say they even want them?” read another angry tweet.
Another made the wildly valid point that unless Love Is Blind is ready to financially support these couples through pregnancy and parenthood, they should keep their thoughts to themselves.
In all seriousness, the question of whether a couple will have children is highly individual and nuanced. There are more possible reasons than could be listed here, with even more potential unknown reasons looming, for why you should never ask when someone is having kids. But here’s the highlight reel, ICYMI, of why the question is inappropriate, offensive, and often triggering:
- They can’t have kids.
- They’re trying but struggling.
- They don’t feel financially prepared.
- They don’t feel emotionally ready.
- They want to enjoy their relationship first.
- They’re dealing with personal health issues first.
- They don’t want to.
- It’s literally none of your damn business.
- No one needs to explain their life choices to you.
While Love Is Blind fans have clearly named Vanessa the villain (they’ve even started a petition to remove her and Nick as hosts), it’s worth pointing out that there’s nothing “real” about reality television. Even reunions come with a list of talking points, and Vanessa could have been pressured into asking the questions by network execs. Even so, she could — and should — have pushed back.