Have you signed up your kid for a youth sport yet? Sports are so rewarding for kids. They get outside and expend some energy. Kids’ sports help them make friends and community. They build confidence and raise their self-esteem. On a good team with a good coach, they’ll learn sportsmanship and the value of winning and losing. The benefits of extracurricular sports (or any extracurricular activity) are well-known and well-researched. That’s why so many parents choose to sign their kids up for soccer, softball, archery, and more, even if it’s not something the parent is particularly into.
Despite all the benefits of sports for kids, being a sports mom has its downsides: the early weekend mornings, the weekday dinner time games, the taking turns to bring snacks, and, of course, the purchase (and subsequent loss) of expensive equipment needed for each sport. Kids’ sports are fun for kids, but they can be costly and stressful for parents.
And that’s precisely why one mom recently took to TikTok to share her rules for kids’ sports seasons — her hilarious, relatable, and wildly accurate rules for kids’ sports season.
“I just got finished paying my son’s sports fees, and now it’s time for me to pull out the Powerpoint presentation on how the rules for this year’s sports season are gonna go,” starts @ThicNicJack, one tired sports mom. “I don’t know if anybody else does this. This is just me, and it’s also entitled, ‘What we not gonna do,’ ’cause this ain’t that.”
She’s ready. This seasoned parenting veteran knows exactly the drama, hell, and absurdity that is sports season, and she’s not having it. She lays down exactly what she expects from her kid this season, from uncharacteristically healthy food requests to sneaky sleepover tactics.
In one fell swoop, she lays out every parent’s sports season woes in a perfectly packaged list of rules all parents can get on board with. Whatever you’re dealing with, she has words on it:
Kids have a way of changing up their “stomach energy,” as ThicNicJack puts it, when sports season rolls around. Kids who typically refuse to eat anything but Hot Pockets and Pop-Tarts suddenly want you to buy the healthiest, most organic, most niche food ever. The kicker? Then they still won’t eat it.
“Forgetting” Clothes and Uniforms Before or After Games/Practices
This one’s almost too relatable: “What we’re not gonna do is not prepare our items for game day the day of or leave vital pieces of clothing at a field.” If this isn’t standard sports season behavior, I don’t know what is.
Expecting Serious Drip
Special shoes that are pricy AF? Check. A $400 baseball bat? So it would seem. Your kid will ask for “the most expensive pieces of swag” and expect you to pony up. ThicNicJack’s advice to her kid? “Bruh. Go middle of the road.”
Asking for Last-Minute Sleepovers
First you’re bringing snacks to the game. Then you’re picking up a stray kid on the way to practice. Before you know it, those little t-ball terrorists are trying to strongarm you into having the entire team over every weekend. ThicNicJack’s not down for “a bunch of people” at her house, and who can blame her?
Playing Around After Practice
Isn’t it incredible how kids seem to forget you have a life and responsibilities outside of being their sports concierge? “I watched you almost throw up when that coach had you doing suicides and burpees. And now, all of a sudden, you got the energy level [of ] a hundred toddlers fresh off of a nap who ate 3,000 pieces of candy so you can go play an endless game of ‘Down A Man.’ Bro, we got homework and meals to cook and preparations for the next day. Let’s go.”
Expecting Mom to Chauffeur
In the wise words of ThicNicJack, gas costs “$3.9 million a gallon” right now, and we’re all broke and exhausted. Mommy can’t drive everybody home.
Feeling the sports patience pinch?
There’s more where the above came from, trust. Any sports mom who watches the video will undoubtedly be nodding their head in agreement. So, what’s a sports mom to do?
Make your own Powerpoint. Lay down the law on paper. Or simply share the TikTok with your kids. ThicNicJack got the point across perfectly for her kids — why not let her do the same for yours?
Good luck out there, Mamas. Don’t forget to hydrate.