Single moms deal with some of the toughest circumstances out there. Many have kids full-time and only one paycheck — juggling every aspect of parenting from childcare to housework to bills. It’s exhausting, heroic, and incredibly difficult every single day.
And on top of “traditional” single moms who are divorced, widowed, or just experiencing motherhood alone, there’s also the “married single moms.” Without taking away from the struggles of moms who are truly alone, these are the mothers who have to do it all just because their partners don’t raise a finger to help. You’re not a married single mom if your partner works all of the time, travels a lot or doesn’t help with the laundry, you’re a “married single mom” if every single parenting task falls on you to the point that it’s as if you were alone.
Here’s a stellar example, if you can stomach it. This viral TikTok video has tallied over 33 million views and 24,000 comments. And it’s a perfect illustration of what life looks like for a married single mom.
In the nine-second clip, viewers see a mom unpacking a car and helping her kids out of the vehicle, from what looks like the viewpoint of a doorbell camera or home security camera. She has a large, heavy-looking bag slung over each shoulder and she’s also lifting a baby out of her carseat.
When she accidentally backs into her unsupervised toddler, all three family members are sent tumbling to the ground with a scream.
At this point, another family member enters the activity: A dad who had been idyll standing by watching, with nothing in his hands except for a phone he’s scrolling.
The mom says, “Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god,” as she checks to make sure everyone is okay.
The dad bobbles between checking on his wife and baby and his daughter, saying, “She’s okay.”
Gee, thanks for all the help.
“His quick reflexes, shall we talk about it?” asks the TikTok poster in Italian (it’s not clear what the origin of the video is).
While it’s scary to see the two kids and the mom in a dangerous situation, and infuriating to see the dad find some new, never before discovered plane of ineptness, many of the comments are enjoyable to read.
“Single motherhood is rough especially with 3 kids,” quips one viewer.
“I bet he says ‘yOuRe NeVeR iN tHe MoOd AnYmOrE,’” reads the mom popular comment, and they might be on to something for sure.
“I wonder if he noticed that he is the problem,” another writes.
“How nice of that stranger to help console that single mothers child,” another writes, with tongue firmly in cheek.
“God forbid he drops his phone.”
“And then he’ll be BLINDSIDED when one day she decides to leave him,” observes another.
“Married single moms” might stay with partners for a whole host of reasons. But the bottom line is that no parent should have to do it alone while the other parent literally watches.