“Genius” No-Crumb Cake Slicing Hack Sparks Debate On TikTok

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Preventing rogue cake crumbs from infiltrating your floor or covering the table during a celebration or party is a valid concern for any parent. Parties and mess are pretty synonymous. However, one TikTok is making the rounds showing parents that there might be a life hack that means cutting a kid’s birthday cake doesn’t result in vacuuming for hours later on.

TikTok user Sidneyraz shared a clip from another account, insisting that everyone was cutting cake wrong. Some people agreed with him, while others aren’t going to follow his advice any time soon.

Typically, when cutting a circular cake, you cut from the middle of the cake with the knife facing down, creating triangle slices. Apparently, finding the center of the cake and cutting from the inside and out is totally wrong.

The video explains that “cake is supposed to be cut from the side to eliminate crumbs.”

@sidneyraz then demonstrates that in order to avoid a crumbly mess, you need to cut from the outside first and then make your way to the center of the cake.

He then cuts the original way to compare the two to see which exactly has less crumbs. “Instead of cutting down into a cake, if you cut in from the side, you won’t have any of those cake crumbs dragging through the frosting,” he further explains.

The video soon went viral — gaining almost 1 million views and hundreds of comments — with several TikTok users chiming in with their thoughts about the crumb-saving cake hack.

“I will never do this,” one user joked.

To which the OP replied, “Fair fair fair.”

However. many others were super impressed by the trick that avoids the mess.

“I have to try it! On to the store to get cake,” one person commented.

“I must now buy a cake for ‘science,’” another agreed.

“The fact that I bake cakes for a living and ain’t know this. Fml,” another wrote.

Others thought that the “hack” was a bit gimmicky, noting that cake is cake any way you slice it (as they say) — and that maybe we shouldn’t listen to anyone cutting a cake with a butter knife.

“I can honestly say crumbs in the frosting have never, ever reduced my enjoyment of a piece of cake!” one person commented.

“Don’t care if there are cake crumbs. Get in my belly!” another agreed.

And others added, “Life is too short to worry about the position of crumbs, just eat the cake and enjoy.”

While it seemed that the hack did work, other TikTok users noted that the way the cake is sliced might not be the be all, end all when it comes a clean cut. “I work in a bakery. I just wipe/rinse off the knife after every 2 slices if I want clean cuts,” one user wrote.

Another echoed, “Something they taught us when I worked in a restaurant that was also a bakery was to get really hot water running and run your knife under it for around 30 seconds before each cut on a cake. It helps prevent the icing and cake from sticking to it and comes out cleaner,” one person offered.”

Apparently dental floss will also give cake eaters a clean, crumb-free slice of cake.

“Unflavored floss works the best, in my opinion, and you can cut the whole cake easily into even slices,” one shared.

Another wrote, “My mum uses unflavored dental floss, but I honestly don’t mind if it’s crumbly as long as it’s tasty.”

That’s the spirit!

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Chick-fil-A’s Sweet & Spicy Sriracha Sauce Is Now Available By The Bottle

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Name something — anything — better than dipping your Chick-fil-A waffle fries and nuggets (or your cauliflower sandwich) into one of their delicious sauces. And because sometimes dreams do come true, the fast food chain offers these “magic” sauces in bottles so you no longer have to beg, borrow, or steal the tiny drive-thru versions. You probably have your go-to (what is it, and why is it Polynesian Sauce?), but that could change soon. Chick-fil-A just announced you can now get two more of their sauces by the glorious bottle: Sweet & Spicy Sriracha Sauce and Barbecue.

As a mom, this news feels like a little gift. Because, c’mon, who among us hasn’t gotten our kid to eat whatever they swore was “yucky” by giving it a delicious drizzle of their favorite Chick-fil-A sauce? In the olden days (circa pre-2020, when the first bottled Chick-fil-A sauces started hitting shelves), we’d have to rummage through our junk drawers to find a few stray packets of said sauce.

Having 16-ounce squeezy bottles at our disposal has been a game-changer for parents of picky eaters. It’s incredible how much better broccoli and Brussels sprouts dunked in Chick-fil-A sauce taste to a child! Not to mention, the bottles are perfect for those days you decide to try a Chick-fil-A dupe recipe.

What are the new bottled flavors?

When Chick-fil-A first started offering bottled versions of their beloved sauces, only two were available: Polynesian Sauce (the best, obvs) and Chick-fil-A Sauce. In early 2023, they’re adding 16-ounce bottles of their signature Sweet & Spicy Sriracha and Barbecue to their grocery store offerings. While the Barbecue was previously available for purchase in stores in an 8-ounce bottle, this is Sweet & Spicy Sriracha’s first time being bottled for enjoyment at home.

Chick-fil-A describes their barbecue sauce as “seasoned with spices, onion, and garlic for a rich and bold flavor” and promises it’s a fan favorite. The Sweet & Spicy Sriracha sauce “features sweet and tangy flavors seasoned with a hint of chili peppers for a spicy and delicious twist.” Both can be found online or at your local retailer that carries Chick-fil-A branded sauces.

Currently, Chick-fil-A’s sauce line includes 16-ounce bottles of Chick-fil-A Sauce, Polynesian Sauce, and the newcomers of Barbecue and Sweet & Spicy Sriracha. Available in 8-ounce bottles are Chick-fil-A’s Honey Mustard, Garden Herb Ranch, and Barbecue. Chick-fil-A also revealed that oh-so-magical Chick-fil-A Sauce is newly available in 24-ounce bottles, giving you more bang for your buck and demanding fewer trips to the store to stock up on your family’s favorite sauce. If we could get the Zesty Buffalo Sauce and Honey Roasted BBQ, we’d be golden.

Feel like you’re stuck in a sauce slump? (Nearly) Everyone’s favorite chicken place recently shared a personality “test” to help you find the sauce that’s right for you.

What’s this we hear about merch?

Why halt your Chick-fil-A fandom at buying sauces, though? The well-known (and highly contested) chicken place has launched a new line of merch, too. Each sauce package and bottle has its own unique label color, and Chick-fil-A has used those color schemes to launch apparel and accessories so you can show off your fandom in style. Each colorway offers:

  • Pocketed short-sleeved shirts
  • Tote bags
  • Long-sleeved, ombre shirts
  • Reversible bucket hats
  • Trucker hats
  • “Sauce Drip” watches
  • Shoes
  • Shoelaces
  • Socks
  • Water bottles
  • Pins

Or, if you’re feeling particularly funky, you can put a pair of cow print laces in your new kicks.

The colorways are:

  • Zesty Buffalo Orange
  • Sweet & Spicy Sriracha Green
  • Polynesian Purple
  • Honey Mustard Yellow
  • Garden Herb Ranch Blue
  • Chick-fil-A Sauce White (and red)
  • Barbecue Red

Not saying that you have to buy the entire line in your “saucer” color… but then again, YOLO.

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10 Spy Shows On Netflix Like ‘The Night Agent’

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Like any good spy would, The Night Agent snuck into everyone’s Netflix queue nearly undetected. But once viewers caught on to the incredible espionage series, there was no hiding it — it was renewed for Season 2 almost immediately. Since it could be a while before we see more of Special Agent Peter Sutherland and Rose Larkin, we rounded up other spy shows on Netflix you can stream in the meantime.

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Netflix’s ‘All The Light We Cannot See’ Trailer Will Give You Chills

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Netflix’s next must-see miniseries is based on the 2014 book club favorite and Pulitzer Prize-winner All the Light We Cannot See by Anthony Doerr. The streamer’s first trailer for the dramatic story, which is set against the backdrop of World War II-era France, is so epic in scope that it’s sure to give you chills. This is definitely the kind of show you’ll want to tuck the kids in bed early for so you can sob in peace.

The book was at once the story of an unlikely pair of kindred spirits, a thriller about a father and daughter being chased across the French countryside by Nazis, and a message of hope about how people can find light in even the darkest of times. All the Light We Cannot See connected with readers across the world, staying on the New York Times best-seller list for over 200 weeks.

Now Netflix is bringing the book to life with a team of brilliant creators, including Stranger Things producer Shawn Levy, who serves as the series’ director, and Peaky Blinders writer Steven Knight, who penned the script. The talent isn’t too shabby, either. The cast includes the likes of Mark Ruffalo, Hugh Laurie, and a group of up-and-coming stars who are sure to be everywhere soon.

Read on for everything we know about Netflix’s upcoming miniseries All the Light We Cannot See.

What is All the Light We Cannot See about?

Courtesy of Netflix

At the heart of the story are Marie-Laure, a blind French girl, and her father, Daniel LeBlanc. When the Nazis descend on France, they flee the capital in hopes of protecting a mysterious diamond from falling into the wrong hands. Once they reach St. Malo, they join the resistance movement and begin sending out secret radio broadcasts.

It’s through the broadcasts that Marie-Laure meets Werner, a bright teenager recruited into Hitler’s army to stop broadcasts like the one transmitted by Marie-Laure and her father. But instead of stopping her, Werner forms a bond with the woman on the other end of the radio that will change both of their lives forever.

Who’s in the cast?

Courtesy of Netflix

Book fans should be pleased with Netflix’s cast for the miniseries — it’s stacked with talented actors. In addition to Ruffalo, who plays Daniel, and Laurie, who plays Daniel’s uncle, Etienne Leblanc, the cast includes Louis Hofmann as Werner and Lars Eidinger as Reinhold. Most notably, the lead role of Marie-Laure will be played by blind actors Nell Sutton, as the younger version of the character, and Aria Mia Loberti, as the teenage Marie-Laure.

In 2021, Loberti shared her excitement over being cast in the project on Instagram. “Not in a million years did I think anything like this would ever happen to me. The creative team spearheading this project is the stuff dreams are made of,” Loberti wrote in part. “I am massively lucky. More lucky and humbled and grateful than I can express. Thank you for your trust and faith.”

She continued, “I am sensitive to the extent of this responsibility and what this character means for blind and disabled people, blind girls in particular. A blind lead portrayed by a blind actor. This is a significant leap forward for disability inclusion, rights, and representation on screen and beyond. I will never not feel the weight of that, and I will bear it proudly and use it as a catalyst for positive change, equity, and breaking down barriers.”

Is there a trailer For All the Light We Cannot See yet?

The first teaser trailer doesn’t feature a single line of dialogue, but just try not to get chills while watching the stunning first look at the four-part miniseries.

When will All the Light We Cannot See premiere?

Courtesy of Netflix

All four episodes of Netflix’s highly anticipated adaptation will land on the streamer on Nov. 2. That gives you plenty of time to reread the book!



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Jessie James Decker Slams Airline After Pregnant Sister Was Told To Clean Up Her Toddler’s Mess

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There is much debate about planes and children. Should families get to sit together? What should you do if a toddler is kicking your seat? Should all babies be relegated to all-baby flights so that others can travel in peace?

Some think that kids are human beings like everyone else and deserve to experience life just like the rest of the world. These kind of kids/no kids debates go for restaurants, hotels, and any other place where adults and kids are forced to share spaces, whether they want to or not.

However, just because (hot take!) kids do deserve to exist in this world like the rest of us, it shouldn’t be a free-for-all. Yes, kids can be loud and rambunctious and messy, but it’s up to their parents to do all they can to mitigate that. Or is it?

Pop country singer and social media personality Jessie James Decker went off on United Airlines about an incident involving her pregnant sister in a now-expired Instagram story.

According to Decker, 34, the flight attendant approached her sister, Sydney Rae Bass, 31, with “a trash bag and wet wipe” and told her that the captain wanted the mom of two to “clean up every drop” of popcorn that her daughters had gotten on the plane’s floor. It’s important to note that the popcorn was given to the kids by the airline.

“My poor sister is on her hands and knees, crying in the aisle completely humiliated and exhausted, with her children while everyone else watched. Way to go United,” the post read according to People.

The mom of three then asked, “If popcorn is a hazard, why are they giving it on planes? Y’all, this is just…” she said.

In another post, Decker said flight staff called the spill a “safety hazard” US Weekly reported.

Toronto Blue Jays player Anthony Bass, Sydney’s husband, also went viral on Twitter after calling out the airline for making his wife clean up their kids’ big mess.

Bass tweeted out his frustration with the popular airline, claiming his pregnant wife, Sydney Rae Bass, was forced to clean up their toddlers’ popcorn mess while on a flight.

“The flight attendant @united just made my 22 week pregnant wife traveling with a 5 year old and 2 year old get on her hands and knees to pick up the popcorn mess by my youngest daughter. Are you kidding me?!?!” he tweeted alongside a photo of his two daughters on the plane with a substantial popcorn mess below them.

Bass clearly felt some type of way about the idea that his wife — the mother of the kids who made the mess — should have to clean up, but Twitter users (some parents themselves) had other thoughts.

“Genuinely curious, who should clean up the mess your 2 year old made? As a parent of three kids, I am the one responsible for them,” said a Twitter user.

Bass replied and said that the “cleaning crew they hire” is responsible for the mess.

Bass and the Twitter user went back and forth for a bit, with the user calling Bass entitled for his assumptions.

“You do realize they don’t pull the planes out of circulation to detail a plane between flights. One group deplanes, and the next group boards. So your family’s entitlement affects all the people boarding the plane after you get off.”

When other Twitter users chimed in that cleaning crews do come into planes between boardings, the user clapped back, noting that maybe the mistake was Bass’ wife bringing popcorn as a plane snack for the kids, as it can be a very messy food.

“Be a decent human and if you’re going to give your kid popcorn on a plane, be prepared to pick it up. My toddlers loved Cheerios but they were messy, I would never had served them cheerios on a plane,” he wrote.

Bass retweeted the reply and wrote, “You are the perfect parent. You can do no wrong.”

He later noted that the popcorn snack was actually provided by the airline, not by Bass herself.

A mom chimed in back to Bass and said, “I’m not a perfect parent but I clean up after my kids and don’t try and ignore the mess they made. Or better yet, make them clean it up. Your children look old enough they can pick popcorn up off a floor they dropped. Life lesson, you make a mess, you clean it up.”

Bass further explained the situation to the Toronto Sun, claiming that the United flight attendant was rude to his wife about the popcorn mess. “The flight attendant gave her attitude,” Bass explained. “My wife’s on her hands and knees cleaning up popcorn as soon as the flight’s up in the air.”

“It’s the principle. She can take care of our kids. My wife is fine. After a long travel day with two little ones and being (22 weeks) pregnant, I feel for her.”

Bass said United responded to him after he addressed the airline via Twitter, mentioning the challenges his wife faced traveling with his 2- and 5-year-olds.

“It sounds like [United] is going to deal with it internally,” Bass said, after the airline responded to him via private message. “The flight attendant told my wife that it was a safety issue and that the pilot told her she had to clean up the mess.”

After the incident went viral, the Bass family seems to be doing all they can to now laugh the situation off amid backlash.

Sydney shared a photo on Instagram of daughter Blaire, 2, snuggling up to a bag of Skinny Pop popcorn with a sweet grin on her face. “She’s so cute,” Sydney captioned the photo.

Bass shared the photo to his Twitter account as well with no caption, just a popcorn emoji.



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Parents Let Their Toddler Use A Travel Potty In A Restaurant

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As if parents having to defend bringing kids in restaurants at all wasn’t hard enough, a U.K. couple just made it that much harder. A restaurant-goer posted on their local NextDoor page claiming their lunch was ruined when they had to watch a toddler to relieve themselves in a travel potty in the dining area.

The incident allegedly took place at the Cacciari Asia restaurant in south Kensington, west London, according to the Daily Mail.

They wrote on the neighborhood social media website: “We went there for lunch today, and while having our meal, a couple sitting nearby pulled out a potty for their kid to use right in front of other customers.”

The post also implied that the child had defecated in the potty. However, the restaurant claims otherwise.

A source at the restaurant came to the defense of the parents, saying the incident was being investigated and insisting the customer who posted online about the incident had overreacted. He noted that the toddler only urinated and was far away from other guests.

“The toddler only urinated into the potty. The table was at least 3m away. I do think the diner overreacted. The child was about two years old and was with his pregnant mother,” he said.

The disgusted diner also said in their post that waiters had been aware of what was happening and did nothing to stop the parents from allowing their kid to relieve themselves in the middle of the restaurant.

The post continued, “They were not asked by the waiting staff or restaurant manager to take the kid to the toilet. We found this such a put off as this wasn’t overwhelmingly respectful to fellow diners or a display of respect of hygiene in a public dining space.”

Other NextDoor users chimed in on the customer’s complaint, agreeing that the display was distasteful.

One wrote, “This should be reported to Environmental Health immediately. If the parents have no common sense or respect for other diners, the restaurant staff should have intervened immediately and frankly ejected the inconsiderate patrons.”

While most of the comments on the post expressed disgust by the potty incident, some did express sympathy for the parents.

One wrote, “It’s called potty training … come on the kid had to go … parents may have thought it was just a pee needed.”

A spokesman for Kensington and Chelsea council told the Daily Mail: “We can confirm that we have had a complaint and we will be investigating further.”

Yes, potty training kids can be stressful when most public bathrooms are not kid-friendly and you can’t stay at home forever. However, the idea of a child going to the bathroom just a few tables over while people try to enjoy their Cobb salad and side of fries is definitely a cause for complaint at the very least.

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12 Genius Products That Make Traveling With Kids Stress-Free

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Amazon

Amazon Fire 7 Kids Edition Tablet

Screen time limits are all well and good, but when it comes to long car, train, or plane rides, there’s nothing like a tablet to keep kids quietly entertained. The Amazon Fire comes with a durable kid-proof case with a built-in stand, one free year of Amazon Kids+ videos, apps, and games, and a two-year worry-free guarantee.

$99.99

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These #GutTok Health Trends Could Actually Harm You, According To Experts

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As a product of the Cosmo-mag generation, by the time I hit my early twenties I’d probably tried every kind of diet out there under the guise of “wellness.” Juice cleanses, fasting, no carbs, raw, only green-food diet, only white-food diet — you name it and I’ve done it. And as I reflect on that list now, I shudder at what I put my poor body through. But there’s a new zeal to the sheer volume of supposed health-hacks proliferating our Insta and TikTok feeds. They’re mostly tagged around “how to improve your gut health” — except that the majority of them have gastrointestinal experts losing sleep.

A quick glance at #guttok (which has 839 million plus views and counting) and you’ll see what I mean: lots and lots of celebs and influencers extolling everything from the virtues of parasite cleanses to combat gut exposure to mold, to a steady diet of bone broth and intermittent fasting, to taking apple cider vinegar supplements to kickstart your metabolism.

And once you go looking for this type of content, it’ll chase you around via algorithm, too. Curious about what the latest fads-as-health-gospel were, I went down a rabbit hole, and ever since I’ve been inundated with all kinds of targeted ads all claiming some kind of near-overnight success to almost any ailment imaginable. I get served reels and TikToks about spore-based probiotics, omega 3 supplements, magnesium supplements, collagen boosters, prebiotics and probiotics, lemon water electrolytes, liver cleanses. God only knows how anyone has the time, energy or money to do all of this at once.

But I wanted to understand how much any of these much-lauded GI hacks actually help with many common gut ailments Americans experience, like IBS, bloating, or cramps.

I asked Dr. Fola P. May, Associate Professor of Medicine at the UCLA Vatche and Tamar Manoukian Division of Digestive Diseases, who’s been working in the GI space for over a decade, what she makes of the explosion of gut-related content on social media. And mostly, she’s very worried.

A big part of the problem from Dr. May’s vantage is that the content that rises to the top isn’t based on scientific prowess, but the all-mighty algorithm, which thrives on outrage, shock, and awe. And while we should all know this by now, we can still be suckered in by the power of a celebrity or somebody who has garnered thousands or millions of views on social media selling us something, even if we know deep-down they don’t have any actual medical expertise or even for the most part solid data behind what they’re peddling.

“It’s the most shocking or interesting things that get promoted in our feed, and a lot of people equate the frequency with which they’re seeing things as fact,” Dr. May said. “You can’t take what you see as truth, you must fact check – and that doesn’t mean Googling. In many cases it means talking to your healthcare provider.”

There are some feeds and accounts that talk sense. Take Shannon Rubenstone (@shannonrubenstone), who advocates things like upping your water intake and minimizing your stress as a way to help overall health, and thus positively affect your GI tract. That’s just basic good advice that is always helpful. But, of course, accounts like Shannon’s aren’t the majority of what we see as we scroll.

Dr. May has been particularly alarmed by the rise of #guttok and the kinds of super-quick fixes that are being advertised to people. Many of the detoxes, cleanses and supplements prey upon our understandable desire for help if we’ve been experiencing debilitating gastro issues. But these could actually hurt conditions like IBS or bloating, more than help, because of how far-removed they are from science.

Good gut health ideally means living without regular symptoms like diarrhea, constipation, abdominal pain, or hyper-sensitivity to foods. In other words: A healthy gut should be able to go through a day without being symptomatic. That depends on our microbiome, the gloriously complex bacterial environment of our GI tracts, which has billions or even trillions of bacteria, some good and some bad. It’s the balance of these bacteria that determines our overall gut health, and can help shape our moods because of the powerful brain-gut axis.

“The ones that bother me the most are ‘eat only broccoli’ or eat only one thing, because we know your body needs lots of things to function, we need micronutrients, and unfortunately a lot of people out there are promoting restrictive diets,” Dr. May said.

Your GI health isn’t going to magically improve if you dramatically up your intake of aloe vera juice, bone broth, or start daily cleanses.The gut supplement, detox, and cleanse space is a multi-billion dollar industry, but there are seldom any real proven long-term effects.

Another major issue are pills and gummies billed as gut health game changers. The supplement space is largely unregulated here in the U.S. and that makes a lot of dieticians and physicians nervous, because people may think they’re buying one thing but don’t necessarily understand what is in the product they’re being sold. Sometimes there are dangerous side effects. “We’ve seen very unfortunate cases of people buying exotic or herbal supplements who’ve then presented to the hospital with frank liver failure, in some instances I’ve had to evaluate them for liver transplant,” Dr. May told me.

And then there’s the simple fact that a lot of #guttok is just good, old-fashioned body shaming disguised as wellness. The more I scrolled, the more it’s clear that an insidious element of #guttok is that side-by-sides images we’re fed of “bloated” before pics and “cured” after pics are really about selling us on the idea of washboard abs and a flat tummy. It can be hard to divorce many of these GI trends from the “skinny is back” Ozempic-fueled zeitgeist we’re living through.

Dietician and long-time health columnist Dr. Leslie Beck, a Toronto-based nutrition consultant, has spent years trying to debunk GI myths and empower people to feel more educated about their bodies. This most recent TikTok explosion of GI health related “cures” from influencers has her hard eye rolling.

““Oh brother, here we go again!”, is usually my response,” Dr. Beck admitted on a call from Toronto, where she runs a licensed nutritionist practice. “I’ve debunked things like ACV and activated charcoal. It’s not true for everything but for a lot of cure-all things — like bone broth, for example — it’s not harmful, it’s delicious, it has some nutrients, but it claims to do everything as weight loss to clearing up your skin, but there’s next to no research behind the claims.”

The National Institutes of Health has a target of 2030 to research and come up with what it calls “precise nutrition” guidelines — essentially more precise dietary advice unique to individual Americans, informed by genetics and more intensive investigations into the human microbiome. There’s a multimillion dollar investment, utilizing artificial intelligence, to come up with databases that will eventually be able to shine a brighter light on our gut health. Until then, the reality is that gut health is still an industry with more questions than answers.

“There’s absolutely an education gap when we’re talking about gut health and the microbiome that scientists are still learning about,” Dr. Beck explained.

It’s not all bleak. There have been some meaningful advances in data around certain GI issues, like IBS. Dr Beck, who’s been a dietician for 30 years, points to robust data around a low FODMAP diet, minimizing the six different feremental carbs that have been proven to aggravate IBS sufferers. But education around what is and isn’t backed by science can be hard to parse — especially when the accounts that are sharing tidbits of health information have thousands or even millions of followers.

“We are bombarded every day with an overwhelming amount of information related to diet and health, a lot of it not based on evidence, and it can be very difficult for consumers to make sense of it all,” Dr. Beck explained. “And if you see your fave celeb who looks fantastic you want to believe that and trust that so you’re going to try it.”

One distressing reality about the popularity of #guttok is knowing how desperate some people are when they find these communities and are trying to seek help for real, debilitating ailments they may have suffered for years- often in silence.

“I meet a lot of people who think they’re just supposed to deal with their GI issues,” Dr. May explained. “They’re embarrassed to be in a common workplace because of the potent smell of their gas, or are having to constantly plan out where the nearest toilet might be because of diarrhea. We need to empower people to be aware of their symptoms and it is ok to seek medical attention.”

So if you’re struggling and feel alone, know that you should absolutely receive the help and support you deserve. The medical community has historically minimized female pain, particularly pain of BIPOC women, and there needs to be far more acknowledgment of that. One thing that’s clear though — while community and solidarity can absolutely be found through social media, holistic and legit medical answers probably won’t be found on TikTok…or at the bottom of an empty bowl of bone broth.

Caroline Modarressy-Tehrani lives in between ATL, NYC and London with her husband and their 2.5 year old. She is a writer, podcast host, and Emmy-nominated TV correspondent. You can follow her on instagram @caro_mt.

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TikTok Is Not Your Therapist

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A few months ago, I became bored with the content of my typical evening TikTok fix. Since the pandemic, I’d been turning to the wildly popular short-form video app for a few minutes (okay, sometimes an hour) of mindless relaxation before bed. I was in school to become a therapist and after a day of thinking and reading about very heavy stuff, it was fun to learn about eye-liner application strategies for the mature woman or decluttering hacks for the busy mom, or occasionally, very weird and oddly satisfying tutorials on things like how to trim a horse’s hoof.

Then one evening, the algorithm started sending me a different sort of content —content from therapy TikTok. Perhaps my phone had been spying on me in my clinical assessment class? Or perhaps it had eavesdropped on an argument with my boyfriend. Suddenly, instead of videos about preparing tasty, low-carb casseroles on a budget, I was consuming clips of psychologists and counselors and clinical social workers and various other coaches and gurus, telling me the five signs of an unhealthy relationship, and the five signs that you may be anxious or depressed, and the five steps to banishing negative self-talk with positive affirmations, and the five clues that your partner may be cheating.

“Is your partner suddenly dressing better?” an appealing redhead in her late forties asked me from a luxurious-looking velvet armchair.

He is! I thought. Of course, he had also just started a new job that required him to go to an office, whereas before he’d been working from home in his sweatpants.

“And you’re satisfied with that explanation?” I imagined the TikTok therapist probing.

“Whenever there’s trust issues in a relationship,” she continued, “I recommend that couples move to an open phone policy. Both partners should make their phones, their computers, their email accounts an open book to one another to build trust. Show each other that you have nothing to hide.”

The next day I told my partner about the video. He is also a therapist in training, and he seemed a bit disconcerted by the advice. “That seems a little….invasive?” He suggested. “And not particularly healthy.”

“Yeah, but the woman on TikTok seemed really smart and charismatic,” I said. “She had a bunch of degrees on the wall behind her. Also, great cheekbones.”

He raised an eyebrow.

A few days later, I mentioned the idea to my actual therapist, whom I’ve been seeing every week for a couple years. She was familiar with this idea of an open policy. In addition to individuals, she has treated some couples, including a few who’d also heard about the idea on TikTok. She felt that while it might work for some, it could be disastrous for others. Like most licensed therapists, she understood that there is no one-size-fits-all relationship advice. How we choose to conduct our relationships and, more broadly, live our lives, is a highly personal matter one comes to through self-exploration, guided or otherwise. A relationship isn’t a low-carb casserole. It doesn’t come with a recipe you can download on your phone.

But the TikTok therapists are here to stay, at least for now. As the world grows ever more interconnected through social media platforms, we’re seeing a rise in mental health practitioners who are moonlighting as social media influencers not just on TikTok but Instagram as well. While there certainly may be some benefits to this trend in its most benign form — professionals offering basic psycho-educational content about depression or anxiety, or countering the stigma around seeking treatment — a recent New York Times article details how on Therapy TikTok, it’s not so easy for therapists to maintain the persona of a blank slate. As Dani Blum writes in the piece, “the line between content creator and licensed professional blurs often in TikTok’s frenetic ecosystem. For therapists in particular, often pegged as stoic, notepad-clutching intellectuals, showing off social aspects of their personalities can feel like rebellion.”

As a future therapist myself, I’m equal parts fascinated and disheartened by the trend. On the one hand, I understand that it was likely inevitable. A friend of mine, Yelena Akhtiorskaya, who works as a psychoanalyst in New York, felt the same when I asked her about the trend. She saw the rise of therapy TikTok as a small part in the larger trend of celebrity therapists such as Esther Perel, Orna Garalnik of Couple’s Therapy on Showtime, and Phil Stutz, the famous psychiatrist and subject of Jonah’s Hill’s documentary about his experience in treatment. As a novelist herself, she understood that therapists, like all people these days, must sometimes curate multiple public personas on social media. She wondered, however, how the self-disclosure many TikTok therapists engage in would affect a client’s ability to project onto a therapist.

“The therapeutic relationship,” she said, “the transference and counter-transference that take place between therapist and client, are essential to the process, but it happens slowly over time. How do you build a relationship with someone you’ve been watching walk around their apartment or play with their dog while they offer mental health hacks?”

Other therapists expressed similar skepticism. Steve Thorpe, an LCPC in Chicago who works both with couples and individuals, told me that “any time you’re trying to package something for social media, you’re not really tailoring it for a specific person. It’s hard to offer pre-packaged advice without really knowing a person or both people. And even if you could, therapy is not advice-giving. It’s not the same thing as coaching.”

While it seemed plausible to him that some info about, say, coping strategies or communication techniques could be helpful to viewers, and that there was likely little harm in a potential client getting a glimpse of a potential therapist’s style to see if it resonated for them, there’s no replacement for actually stepping into a room with someone, be it virtual or real. “The process of helping someone starts with getting to know them. You have to learn about the contexts of their relationships, their family of origin, their attachment style, their psychological and social history. And in the long term, a lot of psychodynamic healing comes from re-parenting, being with someone who sees you, lets you be neurotic and chaotic and sticks with you. There’s just no quick and easy substitute for that.”

Unfortunately, there’s no eyeliner hacks or hoof-trimming shortcuts for therapy.

Kim Brooks is the author of Small Animals: Parenthood in the Age of Fear. She lives in Chicago.

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